


what’s being said between your heart and mine

by luciferinasundaysuit



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferinasundaysuit/pseuds/luciferinasundaysuit
Summary: Corey moves his phone even farther away from him, pushes it under a throw pillow. He can’t even look at it right now, even though Chase is on a plane from Dubai and won’t see the text for at least two hours.





	what’s being said between your heart and mine

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from “When You Say Nothing at All” by Keith Whitley.

Corey’s nervous. He keeps moving around his parents’ couch. He sits cross-legged, then lays down, then sits back up and puts his feet on the coffee table. He kicks the remote across the room and has to go get it. 

“I’m a fucking dumbass,” he tells his parents’ dog, who promptly runs off to her bed in the laundry room. Well, he thinks, that’s not a terrible sign or anything.

He collapses back on the couch, lands mostly upright, and covers himself with a blanket. When he turns on the TV, he can’t find anything good, so he settles on Law & Order: SVU re-runs. Nothing like his decade old crush on Mariska Hargitay to go with his decade old crush on a guy he thinks he’s maybe probably in love with now. He’s really glad he’s the only one in the house. His brothers aren’t home for the holidays yet, and his parents are at a wedding. He was glad they didn’t drag him along, but now he thinks maybe he would’ve been better off.

He’s always nervous when it comes to Chase, but usually in a good way. The way he feels at the plate, the way he feels when he’s making a play that he probably shouldn’t be able to make but thinks he can, the way he feels when he has to talk to the media when he did something really cool.

Right now, though, he’s nervous the way he gets when he sends a risky text and then throws his phone away like it’s going to burst into flames. It’s fitting since he just sent what was most likely the riskiest text of his life. He moves his phone even farther away from him, pushes it under a throw pillow. He can’t even look at it right now, even though Chase is on a plane from Dubai and won’t see the text for at least two hours.

He didn’t mean to say what he said, not really. He’d just meant to ask Chase if he wanted to hang out in January when Corey got back from visiting his parents. Then again, that always feels risky. What he’s really asking is “do you want to watch video of my swing before we fuck and you let me sleep over?” It’s a nerve-wracking thing to ask when he wants the answer to be yes so badly. He likes it about a thousand times better when Chase asks him first.

Chase almost always says yes, and he suggests another day if he’s busy. Still, Corey’s terrified he’ll say flat out no every single time, that Chase will finally get sick of doing what amounts to game tape and chill with a gangly kid just over half his age. Chase treats him so well, generous with his time and his attention and yeah, with his body, but Corey figures this casual thing they’ve got going can only last so long until Chase gets tired of him.

They’d been talking the whole time Chase was in Dubai, emailing back and forth and messaging on Instagram. They usually do when they’re apart, but they haven’t really been in separate countries for long before, so Corey wasn’t sure what to expect. He had sent Chase pictures of the dog and his mom’s cooking, and Chase had sent back pictures of sand and him and Justin with cute kids playing ball. They’d even Skyped once. Corey had smiled so big his cheeks hurt and made fun of Chase’s cheesy Instagram post.

“That’s not even a dab, Chase, who lied to you?” he teased.

Chase had rolled his eyes. “It was Justin’s idea. Besides, I looked good, right?” he said with a smirk.

Corey had swallowed hard. Chase always looked good, especially right then on Corey’s iPad screen, t-shirt riding up and sprawled out on a hotel bed. 

“Yeah,” Corey said hoarsely. “You looked good.”

Chase had raised an eyebrow and started to say something else, but Justin had knocked on his door, bored with their half hour of downtime, and Chase had had to go. “Bye, babe,” he said with a smile when he hung up.

Corey had stared at his tablet, blinking down at it, even after it went dark. Chase had never called him babe or anything like it with somebody else around, even though Corey often wishes he would.

Maybe that was why Corey had gotten a flash of now long-gone courage to tap out the message. He wrote it and re-wrote a dozen times, trying to sound casual even though casual was the problem, for him. He’d finally gone with “Do you think we could maybe go on a real date sometime?” It sounded stupid even to him, but he hadn’t been able to do any better.

It had taken all of his determination to hit send, although he didn’t have quite enough to send the text to Chase when he could answer immediately. No, he’d kept it tamped down until Chase was on his way home and Corey didn’t have to hear no right away. 

Corey needed time to prepare himself for rejection, was the thing. He needed time to get ready to maybe have everything taken away, getting to spend time alone with Chase and touch him and kiss him and sleep in his bed and wake up to Chase making blueberry pancakes, Corey’s favorite, even though Corey knows Chase can take or leave blueberries. It’s going to hurt even worse if Chase breaks it off because Chase will try to be so fucking gentle about it. It would be easier if he flat out didn’t care instead of not caring quite enough. Who knows, he tells himself frantically. Maybe he won’t break it off. Maybe you’re wrong. God, he hopes he’s wrong.

The waiting is killing him, not any less terrible because it was his own doing. It’s better than knowing Chase has seen it, but also not because he has to wait even longer. He hadn’t really thought about the downside to that part of his plan.

He finishes watching the episode of SVU even though he’s seen it twice, then walks around aimlessly for a while. He makes a sandwich. He’s already eaten, but he can pretty much always eat. He finds the dog to give her pets. She wants to go out, so he takes her on a walk instead of just letting her out. He leaves his phone inside. 

When they get done, it’s still not time for Chase to have landed, so Corey takes a shower. He brings his phone into the bathroom to listen to music. He’d rather bury it in the backyard. He considers jerking off, but he’s too much of a wreck to really want to. He ends up just standing under the spray for a wastefully long time. His dad would knock on the door and tell him to hurry it up if he was home.

Corey looks at the time when he gets out, wet fingers leaving water droplets on his phone case. Chase should have landed ten minutes ago. Corey knows Chase always checks his texts before he gets off the plane. He drops his phone on the counter, letting it fall on top of the snowflake print hand towel. He suddenly wants to move to Mars, but there’s no baseball there. Or oxygen.

Corey dries off, hangs up his towel, puts his dirty clothes in the hamper, gets dressed. He wanders to the kitchen and drinks a glass of water while leaning against the island. The minutes tick away on the clock above the stove. With a sigh, he puts his glass in the dishwasher and goes to flop down on his bed. He texts Joc about nothing, plays Two Dots until it makes him mad. He bolts straight up when his phone buzzes, but it’s just Joc texting him back.

“I am a piss poor planner,” he says out loud. The sound echoes in the empty room.

He puts his phone under his pillow. He wishes Chase would put him out of his misery. Just a quick “I don’t think that’s a great idea,” something to let him down easy. Or as easy as breaking his stupid over-attached heart could be.

It’s been an hour since Chase should have landed. It’s not like Chase to avoid things, but it is like him to carefully decide what he wants to say. Maybe the flight was delayed, Corey tells himself. The dryer buzzes downstairs. He sticks his phone in his pocket and goes down to fold towels. At least his mom will be happy.

He sets his phone on top of the dryer, turns on a country Pandora station. He folds the towels carefully, in half then thirds then half, the way his mom says they fit in the cabinet best. He’s done with the towels, working on the washcloths, when his phone rings, skidding across the top of the dryer. He grabs for it urgently. Chase’s name and face light up the screen, and Corey feels his heart drop into his stomach.

“Hey,” he answers, trying so hard to keep his voice from wavering. “How was your flight?”

“Long,” Chase says tiredly. “I just got home and put my shit away. Justin drooled on my shoulder. How are you?”

Corey leans against the laundry room wall. Thankfully the dog is wandering the house. He doesn’t think he could take her seeing him like this. “Oh, uh, fine,” Corey says. He’s really not.

“I hope you’ve had a better day than me. I can’t stand sitting still that long,” Chase says.

“I know,” Corey says, smiling a little despite himself. He likes that Chase will complain sometimes but only about non-baseball things.

“So,” Chase says. “A real date.”

Corey slides down the wall and sits on the floor. “I, yeah, it was just an idea,” he says weakly.

“You want me to take you out?” Chase asks.

“We don’t have to go out,” Corey says quickly. That would be nice, going places with just Chase and none of the other guys, but Chase’s place is fine, as long as it’s a date.

Chase is quiet for a second. “What do you mean by real, then?”

Corey takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I mean, like, we can go to your place, but I want it to be a date. Not just hanging out.” He swallows, feeling his throat click. “Not just sex.” 

Chase makes a broken-off sound. Corey doesn’t know what it means, but it can’t be good. “Corey,” Chase says carefully. “I thought we were already dating.”

Corey drops his phone. He scrambles to pick it back up, hoping Chase doesn’t notice.

“You thought what?” Corey asks. He’s so fucking confused. 

“Are we not dating?” Chase asks. “I really thought we were.”

Corey lets out an almost hysterical laugh. Chase wants to date him. Chase has been dating him.

“I didn’t know,” Corey says. “You never said.” He’s spent all this time wanting. 

“I didn’t think I needed to,” Chase says. His sounds forlorn. “Fuck, I’m sorry, babe, I really thought we were on the same page. Damn it, I wish you were here.” He sighs, loud in Corey’s ear. “I’ll take you out, wherever you want. I want to date you, okay? Officially. Exclusive. Whatever the kids say now.”

Corey laughs, a real laugh this time. “You really do? You never. You never say like. Couple stuff.” That’s not entirely true. Chase has told him he likes it when he wakes up next to Corey, that he likes holding him, that he’s proud of him, that he’s missed him. Corey never knew, though, if Chase meant what he wanted him to mean.

Chase groans. “I’m an idiot,” he says.

“That makes two of us,” Corey replies. “Why are you an idiot?”

“Because I was waiting on you to say it first. I didn’t want to pressure you. I should’ve known you needed me to go first. I forget that you’re so young sometimes,” Chase says. 

Corey licks his lips. “Are you. Do you want to say it?”

“Yeah,” Chase says. He sounds so pleased and warm, and Corey’s never heard a better sound in his entire life. “But can I wait until we’re together? Or do you need to hear it now?”

Corey thinks about it. He wants to hear that Chase loves him, so much, but if it means enough to Chase that he wants to wait, Corey wants that too. “I can wait,” Corey says. “Just, if you said it, you’d mean it, right?”

Chase laughs. It’s a joyful thing. “Yeah, Corey. I’d mean it. A lot.”

Corey lets his head thump back against the wall. He’s so fucking happy. “I’d mean it too.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” Chase says. “I really didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Corey says. He knows Chase didn’t know. He sounded so sad, more upset than Corey’s ever heard him. “We’re together now, right? I mean it, and you mean it.”

“I mean it,” Chase says. “As soon as you get back, I’ll tell you for real. I promise.”

Corey grins, cheek pressing against his phone. “I’ll tell you too. For real.”

“Good,” Chase says. Corey can hear the smile in his voice, the one he means, the one not everybody gets to see.

Corey lets out another laugh, giddy with the fact that Chase loves him. “Good,” he says back to Chase because it really, really is.

**Author's Note:**

> Chase and Justin Turner went to Dubai last month to do some sort of Little League outreach, and Chase posted  
> [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/BcwbbXfFZ3h/) incredibly dorky picture on instagram. He still looks infuriatingly hot.


End file.
